Alec Baldwin and the horror of parental alienation.

Alec Baldwin's profanity laced tirade toward his daughter was "released" yesterday causing an uproar.

Is he abusive? My guess would be no.

What he did was truly terrible, no child should be spoken to like that.

However, Baldwin is unquestionably the victim here. And the victim of something that so many men go through in this country that it is another example of the incredibly anti male society we live in.

Kim Basinger has been cited by the court in this case over a dozen separate times for interfering with Baldwin's visitation with their daughter.

Now, first, let's take a step back. Ms. Basinger, who I have always had a thing for, is a diagnosed agoraphobe. That means she is afraid to go out of the house. In fact, after winning her academy award for L.A. Confidential, she had trouble getting work because she just couldn't bring herself to stay on set.

Does this make her an unqualified mother? Of course not. But, it can be an indication of additional personality disorders.

Yet, she was given primary custody. Make no mistake, even in the rare case that joint custody is granted, the person the child lives with principally exerts an undue influence.

As you know, children hear everything. How common is it for a child to hear, even in the "best" divorces, one parent speaking to friends, or family, negatively about the other parent?

Well, in this case, you have court findings that Basinger has consistently tried to prevent Baldwin from seeing their daughter.

This is frustrating beyond belief. For every finding of the court, I'd be willing to bet there are dozens of incidents under which she cannot be cited. The primary caregiver can always prevent the other parent from seeing the child by saying things like, she has a cold, a playdate, a school event, a Dr's appt., whatever. The court will never cite the primary for these things.

So the mere fact that the court in this case has repeatedly cited Basinger means that her behaviour has been egregious.

What the effect is obvious.

A child under these circumstances learns very quickly to not only appease the parent that is hurting them (the alienator, Basinger in this case) but actually to go overboard to try and prevent the bad behavior from being directed towards them. This is similar to what abused children do. They may resist for a bit, but shortly they will go overboard to praise and protect the abuser in order to protect themselves.

So, Baldwin, who has consistently NOT used the press, with access to the best lawyers, unlimited funds to litigate this, STILL can't even see his child.

How often do you think this happens to average fathers who simply can't afford to go to court.

So thousands of children grow up with the myth that their father won't or doesn't want to see them.

Don't you think Basinger is feeding this child stories about how bad Baldwin is, how much he DOESN'T want to see her, etc?

So, with all this, he is STILL not able to get primary custody.

Why, because courts reflexively, even in statutorily gender neutral states, favor the mother. And not a little, but fully and unquestioningly.

So, did he go overboard and say horrible inexcusable things - of course.

Was there anger and frustration in his voice - absolutely.

But who do you think that anger was really direct towards?